Grief as Drowning

Psalm 69:1-3 NASB: “Save me, God, For the waters have threatened my life. I have sunk in deep mud, and there is no foothold; I have come into deep waters, and a flood overflows me. I am weary with my crying; my throat is parched;”

One of the things I cherish about scripture is that you can find just about any mood or circumstance that will relate directly to life. I’m starting a small series on grief, and the first image/metaphor is grief as drowning. It’s true that often when we think of grief, we immediately think of the loss of someone in death. However, it’s essential to acknowledge that grief encompasses any poignant loss that stirs up sorrow or anguish.

This verse is written by David and is full of woe. The first sentence that talks about waters threatening his life is pure metaphor. The word used for life here in Hebrew is nephesh, defined as soul, living being, or emotion. The original Hebrew says the waters have come into or over his soul. He continues, saying he has sunk in deep mud. The word for sunk in Hebrew is taba, meaning drown or sink down. While initially the reference is to drowning in mud or mire, he turns again to water, as the image is of that overwhelming and overflowing water as he sinks deeper and deeper.

Isn’t it true that something about deep loss also pulls us deeply down? Sometimes, it’s as if we’ve been secured to weights that inhibit our attempts to reach the surface. As we are pulled down, we wonder if anyone is aware of our drowning, as life on the surface seems to go on as usual.

Most ironic to this metaphor is the contrast David speaks of: having cried all his tears, having run out of water, and yet downing in the depths of a water that seems to have no bottom.

In this series, I want to honor the real feelings of grief by not concluding with positive platitudes. Each piece exists in and of itself, acknowledging that grief is often dark, uncomfortable, and overwhelming. It should not be ignored, denied, or diminished, but neither should it enslave and control us. Somehow, we must find the balance of experiencing, paying attention to, and ultimately dealing with grief.