I considered how I wanted to wrap up this series on grief and landed on where most of us find ourselves today. I can think back to different extreme moments of loss in my life, which helped connect me to the pieces I’ve already done, but I don’t currently spend my days in such deep emotional places. That is not to say those times are forgotten, but they are resolved.
What, then, does grief resolution look like? It means waking up one day and realizing that the thought of the loss or trauma wasn’t the first thing on your mind. It’s being able to think back to a memory or look at a photo without losing it. It does not mean, however, that all is forgotten. That small part of our heart that died with the loss may have scabbed over as it healed, but the scar remains and will always be there.
The image I tried so hard to convey in grief resolution was that while time allows us to re-enter the world, re-enter friendships, love, and new things, that part of us that was forever changed remains. I depicted this group of friends at a coffee shop sharing life. They share photos and stories. While engaged and listening, the subject is suddenly reminded of a loss. Something triggers a memory or a realization of what could have been, and for a moment, she withdraws into herself. Unconsciously, she touches a pendant that reminds her of someone she lost. Resolved grief is often private; it’s an ache in our hearts or a wistful longing, and then we move on. This subtlety led me to approach this art piece so that it appears at first glance as just a standard snapped photo. It’s only by pausing that the viewer realizes the subject is disconnected.
Thus, the series on grief ends. Without even realizing it, I could almost order the works in my own “stages” of grief. I’d start with Grief as Time Distortion, including the shock and out-of-body feelings of immediate loss, then Grief as Waves, depicting the onslaught of tears and emotions that happen those first days. Third, I’d move to Grief as Drowing because as time passes, sometimes there is a heavy despair that maybe this will never end. Fourth is Grief with Hope (Lament); the work of grieving begins as we climb our way back into life, eyes fixed on hope. Finally is this one, Grief Resolution, honoring that we never truly get over our loss.
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